Always Be a Wolf Read online

  “Oh, who cares, they’re gone,” Diego waved his hand in the air, his eyes searched the room. “Where’s that waitress? I want to get some wine. We can celebrate Jolene not breaking her neck on her way to the table as well as our success this week.”

  “Dios mío!” Jolene shook her head and seemed to relax in her chair, taking a deep breath, her eyes suddenly overwhelmingly exhausted. “I do not understand this culture sometimes. It can be so…difficult…different. Yes, different, from how we were brought up.”

  “We were brought up in a very different country, Jolene,” Diego injected as his focus returned to his sister. “A dangerous area, our parents had to be strict so we were safe. Plus religious,” his focused turned to Chase. “Our mother? Catholic. Read the Bible every day, so we were not to misbehave. If we were bad,” he rose his hand as if to slap an invisible figure on the table. “There were consequences.”

  “Si,” Jolene nodded vigorously. “We would not be like those children.” She pointed to the now, abandoned table, as the young woman finished cleaning it. “We would get a slap in the car. Not that this one,” She pointed toward Diego. “ever listened. He was crazy.”

  A smug grin covered Diego’s face as he avoided eye contact with both, his eyebrows rose and fell and he muttered, “Still am, I’m told.” He cleared his throat, his eyes suddenly pouncing on an approaching waitress like a cat on its prey. He ordered them each a glass of wine and within minutes, she returned with their beverages.

  “Ah! Here we are! Thank you, señorita.” He smiled and winked at her.

  The waitress blushed and shyly replied. “You’re welcome. Are you ready to order?”

  “I think so,” he glanced around the table. As it turns out, the menu was quite extensive and although Chase went for the healthy option of chicken and a salad, Diego and Jolene decided to share a pizza.

  “And,” Diego added as he passed her their menus back. “We would like a shot of something, I don’t care what at this point,” his attention jumped from Jolene to Chase, who merely shrugged, for he rarely drank.

  “Tequila,” Jolene answered and the three agreed as Chase took a small sip of his wine, something that didn’t get past Diego, as he took a long drink of the red liquid. “So Chase, tell me something, do you avoid drinking because you are health conscious or is it because you’re native and have a drinking problem.”

  “Diego!” Jolene snapped, her eyes suddenly wide open. “That is racist! You cannot say such things!”

  “I’m not being racist, Jolene,” He insisted, turning to face her and away from Chase, who was on his other side. “But you know, they do say that the aboriginal community has a problem with alcohol, I just thought he was being…cautious.”

  Chase laughed while Jolene’s eyes continued to darken.

  “It’s okay, Jolene,” Chase replied and relaxed in his chair “It’s actually neither of those reasons, I’ve never been much of a drinker.” He smirked and while Diego appeared intrigued with his answer, Jolene gave him an apologetic look. “And I’m only half native from my mother’s side. My dad was white.”

  “Still, he should not ask these things,” Jolene muttered. “You have to be careful, Diego. People get offended sometimes, you know?”

  “Ah, he don’t care,” Diego casually pointed at Chase, who shook his head just as the waitress returned with three shots on her tray. “Honestly, my friend, I’m not seeing the ‘white’ in you except when you talk.”

  Chase merely grinned, glancing down at his tanned hands, he noted that he was almost the same color as Jolene, while Diego’s skin tone was lighter.

  Almost as soon as the shots touched the table, the three friends made a toast and sunk back the tequila. Chase made a face but followed Jolene’s instructions; licking the salt from his hand and sucking on a piece of lime.

  Diego didn’t flinch but giggled as he watched Chase’s expression, while Jolene’s eyes watered. “This one, they do not make a good tequila. It was just, you know, okay.”

  “You got that right,” Diego pushed his shot glass aside. “It was mediocre at best.”

  “What’s mediocre?” Jolene asked as she checked her phone.

  “Jolene, you need to improve your English, it’s not good,” Diego let out a sigh. “You need someone to help you.”

  “I’m doing fine,” Jolene snapped back. “I am learning, every day, right Chase?” She turned toward him and before he could reply, “What is mediocre?”

  “It means, it was ok, not great.”

  “Well, that is what I said, is it not?” Jolene complained. “I said it was just ok. Why do you have to be all fancy talking, Diego? You want to make me feel stupid?”

  “Don’t get so defensive, Jolene,” Diego appeared frustrated and changed the topic. “So Chase, how did your meeting with the Italian go today?”

  “Sylvana? She was…ok, I guess.”

  “Mediocre?” Jolene spoke up and flashed a look at Diego.

  “Doesn’t really work in this context, Jolene.” He countered.

  “Hmm…”

  “She’s not exactly friendly,” Chase spoke honestly. “But she gave me a list of places to check out, message boards where people talk about their fetishes, some that specifically talk about our parties, some from other countries, where they already have the same parties as us, it is pretty interesting.”

  “Very good,” Diego nodded. “I had the Italian checked out, she’s good. I don’t know, though, I’m still cautious, she asks a lot of questions.”

  “Her name is Sylvana not ‘The Italian’ and we do not have to provide her with answers, you know,” Jolene spoke up as she sipped from her glass. “We do not have to tell her about things before this. We were experimenting at first, just doing some work to see what took off. We did not have a ‘real’ business necessarily so, it is ok. We pay our taxes, right? That is all your government cares about, I think.”

  Chase nodded.

  “The next problem we have with the government is me becoming citizens,” Diego insisted. “Even if I were to marry, apparently the Canadian government can be picky. I don’t understand, I bring work here.”

  “Maybe that will help?” Jolene suggested.

  “I don’t know,” Diego spoke honestly.

  “I think I will be fine. I must wait.” Jolene admitted. “You, Diego, you may have trouble.”

  Chase watched a look between them and took another drink of wine.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Diego disappeared later that night. He gave no indication where he was going, only sending a text after the fact, instructing Chase to put his Tahitian Lime on the balcony during the day and bring it in before nighttime. The dwarf tree was awkward to move and wasn’t even producing any limes but Diego had obsessively fussed over it since bringing it home earlier that week. He enthusiastically researched every detail, carefully inspecting the leaves and in his text, making it clear to Chase exactly how much water to put on it and when. His attachment to the plant was somewhat unusual but humorous at the same time.

  Chase spent the weekend feeling drained. As much as he wanted to meet new people, his ambitions were lacking. Other than going to the gym, running errands and talking to his kids on Skype, he spent much of his weekend looking for an apartment. The options were endless and yet, limited at the same time. He didn’t know the city well enough to live too far from work but their office was located in a pricey area. For something that seemed so simple in a vast city, it proved difficult. It wasn’t just looking at the attributes online, he was also researching the location in relation to work, commute times and transportation. His frustration grew and on Sunday afternoon, as he slammed the laptop shut and pushed it aside.

  Having sold his car before moving, Chase was itching to buy a new one but his budget and lack of parking in the city made it undesirable. It was an expense that could be put on the bac
k burner until he was more settled. At least he had a drive with Diego; who seemed to have no difficulty finding his way around any place and certainly wasn’t intimidated by a new city.

  By Sunday evening Chase’s apathy fell into a depression and he dreaded Diego’s return home. Knowing that he would fly in the condo with a roaring energy that should’ve been inspiring, it would most likely have the opposite effect. Although Chase knew he should’ve been happy; living in a new city, working for a thriving company with endless opportunities ahead, something inside of him felt stagnant. It was the same part of him that succumbed to a lackluster life while still a teenager, after getting a mere stranger pregnant at a party. Although that probably would’ve been a difficult journey for anyone, being forced into a loveless marriage drove away his joy.

  It didn’t matter that those days were long gone or that divorce proceedings had started, a part of Chase was still caught in a web he couldn’t get out of and even though he was free of those old chains, he remained restricted. That was one of the reasons why he loved his job. Lost in an office environment, busy with endless tasks, he felt valuable again; as if his life had meaning. Diego and Jolene counted on him and neither took his loyalty for granted.

  It was only at nighttime, as he lay in bed that Chase’s mind traveled to that secret place; his former best friend Maggie, whom he once fell in love with was now just a memory, their journey together complete. Her younger sister Kelsey, who lived a trainwreck lifestyle was infuriating and yet her sexual prowess had never escaped him. His fantasies of both often appeared in the dead of the night when he felt most vulnerable, his body sensitive to the yearnings he avoided throughout the day.

  His loneliness ran deep. Disconnected from his family, Chase felt like the lone balloon that escaped the group, floating away, rising in the air with vigor until one day he realized that he had drifted so far away. Would he suddenly pop or would he float around aimlessly until forgetting where he started?

  In many ways, Jolene and Diego were his new family. They included him in everything and like a set of parents, they protected him. There were details that they circumvented when talking about the business, details that didn’t quite add up; such as why they recently decided to disassemble the former American office. Always led to believe that it was a thriving business, it seemed to fold as soon as Diego decided to move to Toronto. Now, there was no talk of American parties and although questions were burning in his throat, something told Chase it was best to not ask.

  When Diego did get home late Sunday night, his primary concern was the lime tree. Rushing through living room, barely saying hello to Chase, he touched the soil and carefully inspected the leaves of the plant. Once satisfied that it had been well taken care of, Diego joined Chase on the couch and let out a loud, exhausted sigh as he sat down.

  “Busy weekend?” Chase assumed this was probably the safest way to broach the topic and yet, he felt like Diego’s personal life was well-guarded. He suspected his weekend away was with a lover because he hinted at having many but yet, this was a side of his life that he kept very quiet. He didn’t kiss and tell.

  “I had to go to the American office and make sure everything was closed, terminado, all loose ends tied up,” He rubbed his closed eyes with one hand while loosening his tie with the other. “I’m fucking beat.”

  “I could’ve helped out,” Chase cautiously offered and for a long moment, it didn’t appear that Diego would reply. He sniffed loudly, his eyes still closed, he suddenly sat up straight and yawned.

  “No no, that’s fine, I took care of things” he spoke airily, his eyes barely opened as he stretched. “Everything is fine and besides,” Diego’s gaze fixated on Chase. “You had to look after my lime tree.”

  A grin crossed Chase’s lips and he nodded.

  “And you, how was your weekend?” Diego turned toward Chase and leaned against the back of the couch. “Do anything fun? Wild? Did you get sex?”

  Chase laughed in spite of himself. “No to all of that, I did laundry, went to the gym, bought groceries and looked for an apartment.” He noted Diego raised an eyebrow at the last word and sat up a bit straighter. “Nothing very exciting this weekend.”

  “You should be out,” Diego pointed toward the patio doors. “Out having fun! Living life, learning about new people, fucking your brains out and why you stay here, locked away in a condo like some Stepford wife, cleaning all weekend. We have a maid.”

  “I’m hardly a Stepford wife and I didn’t clean all weekend, I just did laundry,” Chase laughed. “I did normal stuff that people do on the weekend.”

  “Maybe your people but for me, I work hard all week, I want to play hard when I can,” Diego insisted and jumped up from the couch and rushed back to the door, grabbing his suitcase. “That is what life is about.”

  “From the sounds of it, you worked all weekend,” Chase commented as he turned just fast enough to see Diego roll his suitcase across the floor, behind the couch and toward his bedroom.

  “Not it all, I played too,” Diego sang out as he went into his room and closed the door. Chase didn’t see him again until the next morning when he found him sitting at the island in the kitchen, his laptop already opened. Squinting, he leaned in looking at something as Chase walked behind him and toward the coffee pot.

  “Morning,” Chase quietly said as he poured a cup of coffee and went into the fridge to find the cream. For a minute, Diego didn’t reply, appearing caught up in whatever was on the screen. He finally looked up and gave a quick smile.

  “Buenos días my friend,” His eyes roamed over Chase’s body as he approached the island with a coffee in hand. “You look very dapper this morning.”

  Chase glanced down at his suit. “I look the same as I do every morning.”

  “Maybe you look dapper every morning,” Diego spoke seductively then returned his attention to the laptop. “I see here that Jolene has worked steadily all weekend.The parties are booking fast and soon, we will need to hire more people to take care of them, this is good news for us.”

  “Definitely,” Chase agreed and took a sip of the coffee that was more satisfying than what he often bought on the run. Diego was as picky about his coffee as he was to the care of his Tahitian lime tree. He was particular about details and expected the same of everyone else.

  “This,” Diego said as he closed his laptop, “This will be a beautiful day.”

  “You say that every day.”

  “But I am right, am I not?” Diego reminded him as he pushed the MacBook aside and grabbed his own cup of coffee. “It is what you make of it. It is what you believe.”

  Chase envied his enthusiasm, his endless optimism toward life and in a way, wished he would someday be able to do the same. It was getting to that place that wasn’t so easy.

  “So what is this about you finding an apartment,” Diego asked, his eyebrows crinkled. “What is your rush?”

  “I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” Chase spoke evenly, taking another long drink of coffee and checking his phone for the time.

  “What do you mean, overstay your welcome?” Diego interrupted, his eyes narrowing in on Chase. “Who says you are overstaying your welcome? Did I?”

  “No, but..”

  “Then do not worry,” Diego shrugged and twisted his mouth. “Do I look worried?

  “No, but come on, you probably want some privacy.”

  “There is no privacy with family.”

  Chase opened his mouth to reply but hesitated. He knew it would be disrespectful if he pointed out that he wasn’t family, that really, he hadn’t known Diego all that long and that he didn’t particularly want to live there when he started to bring home boyfriends. That would be awkward.

  “Chase,” Diego leaned forward on the table, his eyes doubled in size while his expression grew serious. A faint scent of cologne filled the air as he moved a little closer. �
��You’re welcome until you are ready to go. Just get used to the city, see what you like, where you prefer to live. You haven’t been here long. There’s no rush.”

  “Thank you.” Chase quietly replied.

  “Besides, if I’m not here, who’s going to look after my lime tree?” A lopsided grin twitched his lip, his eyes full of mystery as if words were hidden deep inside but he would not allow them to breathe. There was a certain temptation that lurked beneath the surface, a sign that he wanted more from Chase than a chaste ‘family’ relationship but yet, he kept it carefully placed in a corner, unopened.

  When the two had originally met the previous year, Chase had been quite intimidated by Diego. He gave the impression of this tough, mob-like personality from the movies, a real life Tony Montana, a ladies’ man but his first impression quickly evaporated when Diego kissed him. Stunned, Chase was at a loss for words. He had never had a man hit on him before and felt slightly idiotic for not sensing the attraction since in retrospect, hadn’t it been obvious? Hadn’t he been entranced by the atmosphere, the bliss of being wanted by someone in a way that had only rendered disastrous when it was women? He was briefly playing with the concept that maybe he was bisexual but the idea quickly slipped away. He was just paranoid. Still, it left an elephant in the room.

  Although most days, it was easy to ignore, there were awkward moments when the question lurked around, veiled in silence, there were some things that were too difficult to discuss unless you are ready. This was one of them.

  Not that Diego brought it up either. His eyes hinted at it. His gestures were smooth, graceful and silently reminding Chase that if allowed, he could have a different kind of life than if he left the condo and moved into his own dank, little apartment. There was a certain vulnerability that could be seen now that they shared a place; something he never would’ve guessed when they first met. It was something the rest of the world rarely saw and it was a side that Diego was slowly allowing to seep into their days together, both at work and at home. There were many secret. There was so much he didn’t yet know.